Over the past eleven years, I have spoken or facilitated at annual events for both Crime Survivors and OC Crime Stoppers. Sometime during the first year when I was quite new at all this, I opened that particular event with a prayer because the way I saw it, faith had always been a part of my life, but more than anything else it got me through some of my worst moments and helped propel my life forward.
Anyway, at the end of the meeting, a lady came up to me and said, “You know Patricia, you should not be speaking about faith – it’s not the place – and besides, not everyone believes in God or in your faith.” I felt horrible and I remember going to my car after the meeting and crying. It was very hurtful.
This is a pattern that has repeated itself over the years. In one case, a Board member resigned because they didn’t feel it was appropriate to speak of Faith. What happened is I was silenced for several years as we were building the organization. I never felt quite right about it and knew deep in my heart it was an injustice of sorts. Then about 1 ½ years ago I changed back to the way we were before. This is who I was and these were among the principles that our organization embraced. Of course every once in a while, I’ll receive a response like the one last week from an acquaintance saying I should leave ‘Faith’ out of the organization and my business structure because it doesn’t reflect well to others and that it’s personal for me, but not everyone else.
I was offended that others were offended . . .
There was a time when I was offended that others were offended. I was never able to understand why non-believers or people of other Faiths are so intolerant? I could never figure out why atheists & agnostics are so offended when Christians indulge in an opening prayer or speak of their Faith?
Forget the fact that the U.S. is predominantly a Christian nation; forget the fact that I am constitutionally guaranteed the right of free speech and religion under the 1st amendment, forget the fact that our intent was never nor is it now to convert or brainwash people; forget all of this – is it asking too much that you show the same level of tolerance that we as a society show to the rest of the races, creeds, skin tones, ethnicities, and political ideologies that differ from our own?
Come on people – we’re a very tolerant society, right? We’re the most tolerant people in the world or so I believe. We invite every ethnicity you’ve ever heard of to live here; a vast array of cultural diversity and languages are spoken within ear shod, we welcome with open arms people of different faiths & religions from all over the world, we openly embrace homosexuality and legalize gay marriage, we accept transgender individuals in the workplace, we allow those with extreme political ideologies like Neo-Nazis to assemble and march peacefully in our towns, and yet there are always a few who find it offensive when we speak of faith or say a prayer.
Where’s the humanity in allowing some to be different from you? To assemble and pray to a God that may be different from yours? And where oh where did that spirit of all-inclusiveness go?
I’m more comfortable with myself as a person . . .
I’ve changed a lot in recent years (hopefully for the better) and I’m more comfortable with it now. I’m comfortable with the fact that not everyone agrees with me; I’m comfortable with the fact that not everyone will be happy; I’m comfortable with the fact that not everyone will like me, and I’m much more comfortable with myself as a person.
Unfortunately, most if not all of the people who attend Crime Survivors events have been afflicted by violence of one type or another. In many cases their lives have been transformed in very radical ways. Not all will exhibit visible scaring, but I can assure you that the inner scars are there. In some cases, those are the worst since they leave the survivors traumatized for years. Here’s my new question: Is faith such a bad thing if it helps someone get through physical, mental and emotionally agonizing times?
I/we support, appreciate and accept . . .
Most of our members – surely not all – have Faith in their lives and go about it quietly and in their places of worship. That’s great, we support that. Some of our members are of a different faith, but will join in the prayer anyway or remain silent. That’s great, we appreciate that. And some of our members have no faith at all by their own choice or are still searching and that’s great, we accept that and we understand you.
So all I’m saying is please allow us to practice our faith. Please be as tolerant as we in this country are for the rest of the world. We usually include a prayer in the beginning of our events, and then later I will speak about how faith has transformed my life. Total time on prayer and faith: maybe 10 minutes out of a 2 hour event. If you’ve found another way, all the more power to you. If petting your animals, or psychological counseling or spending a weekend at a Zen Buddhist retreat in deep meditation is what gets you through your day and makes you feel more human, then we applaud you.
P.W.