So often it begins with a poor body image. You want to get to a certain body weight & shape because you saw a picture of a model or an actress in a magazine. So you go on diets; and then on drastic diets. This can then morph into eating disorders which fall into 3 main categories: bingeing, purging (Anorexia Nervosa) and Bulimia Nervosa (think Karen Carpenter).
It’s important for you to know that these eating disorders are real and they are dangerous. They are physically destructive to your organs and your body. The good news is that they are treatable. I know first hand because I’m one of the 24 million Americans who struggle with eating disorders.
A normal person who has a bag of cookies in front of them might eat a few then put the bag away. I will eat the entire bag. The same with ice cream; I won’t just eat a scoop or a cup, I will finish a whole quart of ice cream, 4 large bags of candy, and maybe ½ of a cherry pie – all in one sitting.
One distinction I want to make clear – dieting, even crash diets or yo-yo diets should not be confused with eating disorders. They are quite different.
In some ways, eating disorders are as bad if not worse than being an alcoholic or a drug addict. You believe you are in control, but nothing could be further from the truth. Like an alcoholic who loses control after the first drink, a person with an eating disorder will lose control once they eat that first doughnut or cookie or pretzel. Granted, you are not altering your consciousness, but I have passed out after bingeing.
Guilt and shame sometimes accompany this behavior, so to compensate for the over eating, you’ll eat nothing for the next 2 weeks. I have a calendar in my head – so I can figure out way in advance if I binge, well then I’ll go on a crash diet for 7 – 9 days, just in time for me to fit in my clothing for such-and-such event.
The other thing so disturbing about eating disorders is that they usually occur with other illnesses such as anxiety, substance abuse or even depression. Personally, I also suffer from Body Image Dysmorphia. My birth weight was 6 lbs, 14 ½ oz; my heaviest weight was 222 lbs. – even so – no matter how good I may look or how good people tell me I look, when I look in the mirror, I see a 500 lb woman.
If I could say only one thing to a person with an eating disorder, it would be this: don’t go it alone! Let a good friend or a loved one know what you’re going through. It’s a very lonely illness meaning that it’s usually done in secret, and with no one else around. So be honest and open with someone and seek professional help. Don’t stay in that dark place alone.
The other important factors involved are social and cultural. In our society, we place a lot of value on the perfect body – for women, it’s usually slim and trim but filled out in the right places. As a teenager, my idols were Wonder Woman and the Bionic Woman and believe me when I tell you, I wanted to look like them and be like them in every way shape and form. I trace the origins of my eating disorders back to when I was a child/teen.
It should be noted that men are not immune from eating disorders (though the incidence is higher in women) since they too are pressured in a million-and-one ways to subscribe to society’s ideal male weight and shape ratios. Peer pressure and wanting to fit in are powerful motivators.
Ironically, I joined a gym many years ago and thought I had it beat. My abnormal eating patterns were gone; history. Then I suffered a violent assault by my trainer and here I am 13 years later still struggling with the same eating disorders.
In closing, please know that eating disorders do not discriminate. They affect both men and women, the young and old, and all economic classes and races. So you are not alone. This is a very insidious illness that if left unchecked, gets worse with time. Please seek help. Sadly, only 10% of those afflicted with eating disorders are receiving any treatment. Don’t be a statistic.
Remember, with faith there is hope. Don’t give up.
