I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine who told me, “Patricia, you spend way too much time worrying whether you come off as bitch or not.” He went on, “Just own it and spell it with a capital B.”

He did make some valid points.

He asked if I ever noticed how in Corporate America, most of the mid management people they hire, generally speaking, are not hired for their niceness or politeness or their diplomacy; they are hired to lay down the law, crack the whip, implement policy and make sure the work force gets the job done within the required time. Plain and simple.

My thing, whether I do it or not, is to hold people accountable. If they said they were going to do such and such, then I expect them to do such and such by said deadline. It doesn’t always work that way; I get it. And if I’m let down in a big way, I will definitely call them out, and then human nature being what it is, I’m the … bitch.

My friend pointed out that in a larger sense, it’s not about me nor the other people, and it was never supposed to be about me except as it relates to my personal experience as a victim myself. No, and it’s not about the other person that I’m trying to hold accountable. It’s supposed to be about the victims. It’s supposed to be about those who have suffered at the hands of a violent criminal act. It’s supposed to be about them. It’s supposed to be about Crime Survivors – both the actual victims and the organization itself – which in turn has dedicated itself to supporting and empowering victims to not only survive … but thrive.

As founder CEO of an Irvine-based 501C3, I must admit, my job has become increasingly political. I sometimes butt heads with others on substance and policy, and other times – on things much more petty,

I don’t want to come off as a bitch; I really don’t. The way I see it, my job is to keep the ball in forward motion. My job is to put on the programs and events that we do and to steer the ship on a course, and I imagine that in the course of executing orders, I’m going to ruffle some feathers. My friend’s point was that as long as I’m being perceived as a bitch for essentially holding others accountable, then to go ahead and own it … and have them spell it with a capital B.